Healing takes place, when the realization of hurt is made known to self
and to the Healer.
These past few weeks, I have come to understand brokenness, and how it’s not necessarily a burden. Now, don’t get me wrong being broken is painful, but out of it comes beauty, and the incredible feeling of healing. Let me explain.
It’s a new year! How exciting, new years resolutions, the starting of a new year, a new you! You start out the year, with the attitude, “THIS is going to be THE year.” “THIS year will be better than last year.” and you have such high expectations on what this year will hold, you’ve started to plan things out, you have an idea on what you think your year will hold, what it will look like. Now, if you’re anything like me, you did exactly what I explained above, and actually believed it. I went into this year, with expectations as high as the tallest mountain. I was content with the idea I had of my year. Content, what a dangerous word. When we are content, that should be a warning label for us, a warning that discomfort, and trail, and the time of stretching and growing is about to take place. And that’s exactly what happen. I became content with where I was. Because I was “in control” of what was going on. I was arranging plans, and organizing my year, I had my own plan going on. I had figured out who my “future husband” was, I had planned out what college I was going to attend, I had decided what ministry I was going to be in. I had it all figured out. So I thought. New years day hits, I find out one of my family members is becoming greatly sick. A week rolls out, The lord shows me, my “future husband” isn’t interested and He has someone else for me. The next day, the Lord shows me more about college. Few days later He shows me to step down from that ministry. So in a matter of 10 days, He caused a complete 180 to happen to my future. I all of a sudden became broken, scared, worried, terrified, and completely shaken, because I started to take control. I became content. We were not meant to be in control. We were not meant to be content in life. We’re made to be stretched, to live in abandonment, to serve the Lord. To trust in the plan HE has laid out before us. In the matter of these two weeks, I became very bitter and broken down. I became miserable, hurt, and lonely. Very empty. I bundled everything up in side. Hoping it would all disappear on its own, I wouldn’t have to confront the mess which laid in front of my very own eyes. The mess in my heart.
I went on a youth retreat with my youth group up in Big Bear, CA and we joined up with another youth group there. The retreat was themed “Encounter” and the word Encounter means, to unexpectedly experience or to be faced with (Something difficult). Or to meet (someone) unexpectedly. A confrontation. Now, going to this retreat, I had no idea what this really meant, to be honest. I kind of pushed the whole thing aside, held my grudge and went on the retreat because I knew it was going to be fun and all my friends were going. I knew I was going to experience God. But, I didn’t expect to experience Him the way I did. The first night was good, met new people, we had our bible study, worship, had a time of sweet fellowship. I was away from the distractions at home, I was happy to be there. The next day, I was completely miserable, I missed the morning devo due to oversleeping and getting ready, lost track of time. So the enemy took advantage of that, and starting to mess with my head, bringing up all the things back at home. He cause me to worry about what was going on at home, and caused me to become stressed because I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t eat all day, I didn’t really hangout with anybody, I missed out on all the activities, I was hurt. Broken like never before. But again all I did was push it to the side and tried to let it work itself out. We come to our final session that day, I didn’t get into worship, I stood there wondering when it was going to be over. Worship ends, we sit down in our seats, they announce the teacher and the title of the teaching. “Pain, and Suffering. Why its okay to experience Brokenness.”
Divine appointment, you’d say?
I so wasn’t ready for what was about to take place. The minute the speaker started talking, it was like the Lord was directly speaking to me. The speaker was talking about his sick grandfather, and how he had no control over what was going to happen to him, all he knew is what The Lord had spoke to him to ministry to his grandfather, and that his grandfather needed to come to know the Lord. He was kept talking about how much brokenness he experienced, the pain, the suffering. But he said once he laid it before the Alter of the King, let the Lord have control of the situations. His brokenness became beauty. His grandfather became saved, and all the uncertainly became clear. Because he died to himself, to follow Christ. I sat there and cried the whole service. I finally had my encounter, with my Savior. Once I let go, of all I had held inside, He finally had HIS way in me. I sat there, being held in the arms of my best friend, my sister in the Lord, while I was weeping, I felt the hands of the God just taking each worry, each piece of hurt, every broken piece, I felt Him taking all the junk out and filling it with Himself, with His unconditional love. We prayed together, and peace now dwells in my heart, I could laugh out of Joy in the Lord again. He took my brokenness, and turned it to beauty. Because I can now, let go and TRUST Him, and KNOW, He has control. I came back from that retreat refreshed and awakened. Peaceful. Healed. I understood how I need to be more faithful to the Lord just as He is me. I know He is going to create such beauty in the midst of my life. Because its HIM, working it all out. I no longer worry about what this year will hold. All I know is, when I hear that word, “Come.” I will follow.
The enemy has no victory over us. Jesus has won it all. So when the enemy, when he starts to fill your heart and mind with things that hurt, or scare you, or worry you, or are false. True away from him and listen to what God is speaking to you. Be in prayer. When we pray, we are admitting our needs, our helplessness, our brokenness. We are admitting our need for God’s power, willingness, and faithfulness. We are asking in faith. The only way we can fight the battle is if we are seeking the instruction of our Commander, Our Lord. Jesus, performed all of His amazing miracles and works, He was only able to do all He did, because He spent time in prayer. He spent time laying everything down before His father. Seeking His Fathers will and guidance. We need to be doing the same in order to encounter our Savior daily. Just like scripture says, when we draw near to God, He will draw near to us. (James 4:8) the same goes for the enemy. When we give up ourselves to the enemy and his doing, The enemy is drawing closer to us. luring us in. don't draw close to the enemy. Draw closer to God. Draw from His Living Water. Trust Him with all you are. He will grow you. Shape you. Turn your brokenness to beauty. Heal your hurting soul. And bring peace and joy to your heart.
